Family – Biological

Blood Relatives  -  I met my biological family within the last decade.  It was scary, thrilling, and great.  

My first meeting was with Tom Hayward – who was my half-brother.  …”gotta tell you, my brother was way cool.” …

My father Dick Hayward and I looking at his photo album two years ago

Then, I was able to meet my biological father Dick Hayward; It was strange and quiet…interesting to note that he was totally self-absorbed.   

This was my first adult opportunity to meet with my father and learn a little about him.  Here’s a picture of the two of us at “Happy Acres” where he was living.

Dick passed away about 3 years after I met him. 

I kind of liked him – he was cranky – like me (just ask my husband)!

My uncle Marshall  had a lot of photos with me and my biological parents Dick and Elinor, and then my adopted parents Larry and Norma Dasher.

My father  Dick was always  ”about him” - but interestingly,  he had a lot  information and revealing stuff at this meeting we had.  I was 50 years old.  It was about time I met him.

My Family Back in the 1960s

Here is a photo of Dick, Elinor (my biological mother), and me taken on the front steps of a bungalow we were renting in Southern California.

If you are like a lot of children of the foster system or if you were adopted, you will understand why so many of us wonder and fret about our biological background.  Most of us want to know whatever we can about our biological family.

In the 1950s and 1960s, adoptions and foster arrangements were  deep dark subjects  to many individuals  …hardly seems fair, huh?!

Thank goodness.  Things are finally changing.

I have pictures of me with foster families and a few that were taken with biological family members such as aunts, cousins, and my own parents.  Wish I could remember it all.

What I Enjoy

Picture of Richard and Jim - good friends being nuts together

1. My husband.  We’ve been together for over 20 years.  I enjoy him. 

2. Kindle.  I have the first generation Amazon Kindle…it rocks.  Minimalistic because it holds over 200 books in one package.  Enjoyable because I can read any of those downloaded books just about anytime.  And, there are a lot of free blogs, free books, and free stuff…so, you can keep it and be interested – and as a bonus, it can even be free after the initial investment.  That rocks.

3.  Our incredible resources in the world we live in.  If you live in the United States of America, we have a great deal of resources to draw from.  A top contender is the beautiful state parks and our national parks.  What incredible beauty and history there is – - all we have to do is find our way there!

Picture of one of my friends, Tammy Smith

4.  Friendships.  I have always been minimalist in this particular part of life.  But, ‘gotta say…friendships are some of the most valued treasures in my brief stay on this planet.

5.  Good Health.  When it’s good – love and value it.  When it’s bad, all we can do is suck it up and deal with it. 

6.  Smiles from strangers and friends.  Have you ever noticed that the old saying “When you smile, the whole world smiles with you,” is absolutely true?!  Look at the smile on Tammy’s face here  -  she makes you smile too!

Too many sales calls

Hey, stop bugging your customers with sales calls! We know who you are...we will call you...leave us alone!

It’s obvious the economy is tanked.  We get over 20 sales calls a day at our office . . . sometimes it’s more.  These constant sales calls make me cranky and tired. 

Isn’t it possible that a sales manager somewhere along the way is going to realize this is counterproductive?  Stop forcing your people to make sales calls! 

It’s annoying.  It’s angering.  It’s wasting your time.  And, it’s certainly wasting my time.  Not to mention, I’m getting mighty irrate.  Stop it!

When the economy gets bad, people get scared, sales managers go ballistic, sales people feel forced to BUG their clients, and the end result is the customer just gets ticked off. 

Sales people need to think about their customer, NOT their next sale. 

Imagine, if you will…your customer has had a horrible day of unending interruptions with sales calls from everyone and their uncle.  Then, you call at 4:45 p.m.  Please don’t have any doubt in your mind why we hang up on you!

Click.

Ah, here’s an idea.  Train your customer service people who answer your telephones how to take an order effectively, intelligently, quickly, and politely. 

Why is it that we are bombarded with inbound sales calls, but when we go to place an order with your company, you blow us off with terrible customer service?

Cosmetics and the Lady Over 50

Cosmetics, beauty creams, facial cleansers, and make-up are essential items for the average woman in the United States.  I can’t speak for women from other countries, but I can imagine that American women are not the only consumers of this stuff.

When I turned 40 years old, I suddenly, magically found myself at an upscale make-up counter at May Company.  The lady working there was delightful – not critical of my skin problems - very helpful – gave me free stuff with the purchase - and made me feel beautiful for deciding to buy her products. 

$100.00 later (along with free stuff!), I walked out of the store convinced that in seven short days I would look 10 years younger.

Before this experience, I usually washed my face with hand soap.  Moisturizer never entered my mind.  Toner, clarifiers, regenerating creams . . . none of that was in my vocabulary.

Cosmetics, creams, softeners, toners, regenerists, cleansers, buffers, and "derma fills"

Today.  I know all of it.  And, I apparently I have it all.  Witness this photo.  Today, out of curiosity, I pulled all the products and crap for my face out on to the counter to perform a little reality check. 

Counting up all the money sitting in this picture, it’s about $250.00.  Holy toledo! 

I have it all – even a Derma-Full x3 Facial Filling Serum “Serum Visage Comble-Rides”…jeez, think of all the money I could be saving for a vacation or something fun!

I wish this stuff made me look 10 years younger.  But, I know it isn’t doing a damned thing except smelling good, feeling soft, and taking a huge bite out of my pocket-book.  

…time to stop supporting Avon, Este Lauder, Neutrogena, Loreal, and all the other companies out there…

Or is it?  How cruddy would my skin look without all this goo?  Guess I’ll never know.

Death Valley

Last weekend we took four days off to visit and rest at Death Valley.  We were camping.  If you want to say that taking our Class A motorhome with washer/dryer, two slideouts, and all that jazz is really “camping.” 

We bypassed Furnace Creek Campground and Stovepipe Wells…we didn’t need no stinkin’ hookups!  Off we went to our old favorite – Mesquite Springs campground.  Mesquite Springs is bereft of water, electricity, and sewer at the campsites.  Instead, it offers gorgeous views of the valley, quiet, and peace.  At the northern end of Death Valley you will find a quietness and simple sweetness that is unlike any other area of the valley.

Scotty’s Castle is a couple of miles away.  The store there offers ice and tourist crap.  The castle itself is quite interesting – take the tour someday…it’s quite cool.

Nike Air tennis shoe...pretty new...wonder where the body to go with it is located?!

We took the Jeep out for a couple of major spins while there.  On Saturday we found our way on the road north.  The four-wheel roads really aren’t true four-wheeling treks, but fun to drive.  Along the way, we found a Nike Air sneaker in the middle of the road. 

It’s strange finding articles of clothing, shoes, and personal stuff on roads.  I wonder sometimes what happened to the person who owned these things.  Are they dead?  Are they brain-dead?  Did they ever discover they lost their stuff along the way?  …or not…

Crankshaw Crossing is probably not on the Ten Most Important Attractions list of Death Valley, but we think it has it's place!

Here is a photo of a road-side “attraction” in the middle of nowhere.  Desert explorers and wanderers put up strange signs and crap.  I think the sun and heat gets to us and this is the end result!

Ask anyone who spends a few years in the desert…dwellers and travelers in the sun like to collect unusual things, and then we place them in out-of-the-way locations for strangers to see.  Most desert lovers appreciate “Rusted Art!”

While at Death Valley we usually read, read, and read some more.  Evenings find us next to a campfire (Mesquite Springs offers fire rings, thank goodness!).  The stars at night take your breath away.  And, usually we end up asleep in our chairs next to the fire.  Beautiful!

Cactus in Death Valley are required to be awe-inspiring!

While driving on the out of the way roads of Death Valley, you will find gorgeous landscapes, desert cactus, and once in awhile a rabbit or some other evidence of life. 

The solitude and quietness of the valley is what attracts us so much…we return to settle the noise in our minds, the craziness of city dwelling, and to just be still for a few days.  Of course, Richard does tend towards noise making (see previous post!).  I have found Bose earphones an enormous help!

Stories of settlements in Death Valley are interesting!

Here’s a picture of the Leadfield sign – I find the word “swarmed” interesting – can you imagine a group of people swarming to this isolated area of desert?  Mining was a big deal back then, but really!  Gotta’ remember though, back in the early 1900’s there weren’t a lot of places to “swarm” to . . . the Great Depression was just around the corner.  I wonder about the people who “swarmed” to this isolated place.  Temperatures of 120 degrees F were normal in the summer.  Winters were freezing.  …crazy environment for even the most hardy of people.

Our jeep...always ready to go...desert driving is always so cool!

We love driving the washes in the desert.  Not a lot of folks dig that kind of stuff, but it’s relaxing and quiet out there.  In Death Valley you will find a lot of Europeans hanging out in the middle of the summer.  For some reason the heat and summers attract people from all over the world.  Interesting, but most people from Las Vegas, Nevada have never ventured to Death Valley.  But, if you talk to a German national about it, you’ll find they know all about our western treasures of nature.

What are you waiting for?  Pack your bags and explore our beautiful, extraordinary country.  You will fall in love again under the starry skies of night, argue about which way to turn on a desolate road in the middle of nowhere, and see nature’s beauty at every turn of the road.

Oh yes.  You’ll find a tennis shoe in the middle of the road.  No doubt.

I Love Cats

No matter how naughty a cat is, you can’t help but love ‘em!

We have a wonderful kitty – Come Again The Rigging Cat.  She’s getting elderly and a little long in the tooth now, but she still has moments of acting like the kitten she once was. 

Come Again The Rigging Cat used to spend her days with us at work and for a time she had her own business cards and reputation as a good rigger (!) 

Come Again usually has her own chair, beds, couch, counter, and private places everywhere to hang out!

As the years passed, more employees came to work with us and the number of customers increased . . .which served to only upset her quiet days that she had enjoyed laying on the front shop counter.

So, now Come Again is retired.  She enjoys the sun, skips out the front door the moment we come home from work, chases the evil white poodles who are always crapping in front of her, and sleeps a lot.  Sleeping, eating, and going to the bathroom…she’s excelled in those skills.

We love her and we think she probably appreciates us.  But, being cat, she never lets on about her true feelings except that her purrs and nuzzles give us a little clue.

A year ago the vet had to remove a bunch of her teeth.  It was a hell of an ordeal for Come Again – taking her almost a month to get through the pain of it all.  Today she is missing a front fang that used to hold her tongue back.  So, now she flicks her tongue out a lot when she’s tired or cranky. 

Bottom line is that we know our kitty won’t be with us for that many more years.  So, sometimes when I’m petting her, I give her a couple of extra hugs for the future days that I won’t have that chance.

What will I be prescribed next?

No one but me seems to think that this is a strange drug to prescribe!

Did you ever get this Rx?  Nope, I didn’t think so.  A couple of weeks ago when flying to Reno, I was worried about having this bottle with me…absolutely certain that someone would slap handcuffs on me at the homeland security line-up and send me to prison for the rest of my natural life.

That didn’t happen.  The fellow gazing at the xray screen didn’t say a word as my purse with a bottle of Opium motored by. 

Now I’m wondering what the doctor will prescribe next month.

The Comfort of a Blog

There's comfort there in that blogging thing we do!

Writing a blog is similar to eating chicken noodle soup when you’re ill with the flu.  After a hard, weird day at work blogging is comforting, warm, familiar, and satisfying. 

Simply put, blogging is keeping a diary.  That’s a cool thing for so many people.  We are able to vent, complain, whine, brag, yak about BS, advertise, announce, sniffle, praise, and write to ourselves. 

…gotta’ figure that with all the blogs out there, not many people are reading our blogs but ourselves!  Now and then you can spout off about something that will attract someone else’s attention – - but that’s not the point.

Blogging is a way to communicate and massage our own minds and emotions.  It’s cool that we can add videos and pictures, huh?  There’s a lot of comfort in sitting down quietly at the keyboard to click away. 

Chicken soup is great too!

The Scales Story

When you weigh 111 pounds, you wish the scales were wrong

111 pounds this morning.  Not a pretty sight.  Need to find food that I can keep down.  Now.

Rants are Good for the Soul-Here’s Mine

This is me. Just make the noise go away! Quiet, peace, and serenity...I know it's out there somewhere.

Relationships are required in our human lives. In one form or another, each of us must have a relationship, or more than one, if we are to exist “normally” on planet earth.

Not only are relationships required, we are also obligated to make a success out of one or more. I think that is a strange thing. Apparently we as humans obligate ourselves to a ton of these relationships throughout the history of our individual lifetimes. Why must we socialize? Why must we communicate with others – particularly to the myriad of people surrounding our space who we sometimes really don’t like?

Now that I think about it… some relationships are with individuals who we absolutely detest. A few people I’ve met in the past 40 odd years have had relationships with those whom they detest. We seem to be remarkably busy creating noise and being adept at the “art of socialization.” Even to our own individual detriment.

Not to be rude…but, in the past several years I have found that I really value time spent alone. Quiet, completely alone, absolutely peaceful; time alone. Note the description: peaceful time alone.

I believe that if we were able to spend more time solo the human race would become stronger and more intelligent. Why must we be constantly moving about, making noise, leaving tracks, talking, shouting, needling, conversing, arguing, and communicating with others?

Are we afraid to be alone?

As the years pile on, I think more and more about peace and happiness. Those two desires are more important to me than anything else (other than a really good pepperoni pizza).

Is not the need for peace and happiness universal among humans? Yet, we continue to flap our human wings – toot our horns, yak up a storm, share our opinions, bond with those who could care less, and create heavy prints all over the land that we have trod. Does all this activity help create harmony and peace?

And why the heck do we need to twitter?

Sometimes I worry that I will arrive at the pearly gates of social security and 1) not be able to partake because the  SOBs took that money away from me, and 2) be a cranky ole’ woman who spent the last 10 years of my life not speaking to a darned person…and my voice will be completely gone because of the lack of trying to use it for a decade. Nope. Anyone who knows me believes that me not expressing my opinion aloud is impossibility!

But, wait!…I’m not so sure.

Upon second glance, I believe that if I could get away without communicating with others, I would be rather content.

Contentment comes from many water faucets. The one I’m thinking about right now (after a weekend of communication hell) is the water faucet of quietness. We take it for granted that we will always have that remarkable skill of communication in one form or another. And, this leads me to question myself: Will I always have the ability to communicate? And, another darker thought: will I always want to communicate?

Think about the person in that hospital bed in a coma. Unable to speak – or even listen. Perhaps it’s a bad thing. Or – is it?

After all, quiet and peace could be a rewarding experience.

The whole world has something very loud to say to us! Please?! ...JUST SHUSH UP FOR ONE MINUTE!

I write this after a weekend of over-communicating, constant bombardment of noise and opinions, and the general jittery display of the human need to communicate…yes, “reach out to the other person.”

Right now I would give you ten thousand dollars for just one eight-hour period of peace and quiet.

I live with a man who cannot sit still longer than 20 minutes at a time. He must have noise or movement around him 100% of the time. The only time he doesn’t move, talk, press a button, make a noise, touch something that will make a noise, or contribute to that movement or noise is when he is unconscious.

I love him deeply and dearly. …even when I just want to be left alone. But, love and hugs aside…I know that I’m not living alone in this peace-shattering abyss. (As I lay here on my bed hearing the thumping of the I-Tunes speakers from 100 yards away).

There are many of us who feel the same way. In fact, those numbers are probably in the millions. Where must we go to get away from this insanity?

…probably a mental health clinic somewhere in Wyoming.

Seriously, when someone invented the ADD syndrome – they were thinking about these types of people. They are everywhere. God bless them, everyone. But, dam it, someone must discover a pill to make hyperactive people stop it!

The medications on the market now obviously do not work adequately. Another offer: Make a little pill. Make it work effectively. I will pay you huge, huge, huge money to do this.

And, there are a few hundred thousand people (not counting the French) out there who will join me. What are you waiting for? Get to it.